I was so surprised at the way she just sat down and introduced herself that I was at a loss for words for a moment. She reached towards me and I recoiled a bit, but then watched as her had slipped past my surprised face and took up the half-empty martini. Before I could object to her helping herself, she just slid it over in front of me and offered me some advice about keeping my drink in sight. She introduced herself again.
“As I said, I’m Shannon but I didn’t catch your name,” she said, extending her hand.
“Oh!” I said, realizing I wasn’t really being very friendly. “My name is Blair,” and I took her hand to shake it. Shannon’s grip was strong. “Do you know much about this place?” I asked. I am usually the “strong” one. My dark curly hair and average build give me a no-nonsense look that works well in business, and though I am only 5′5″, my 36Ds make up for that, and I think they even scare some of the men! At work, I manage a staff of smart men and women and have no trouble dealing with their problems or my own boss. But in my relationships, I prefer to let the man take charge, which is what they want anyway. It’s nice to let someone else take the reigns at the end of a busy work day. The women at work are always that way, at least on my team. They need to be pushed, and they worry they won’t get the promotion or the raise, even when they’re doing a great job. Meanwhile, a mediocre guy will ask for a promotion and raise he’s not even remotely deserving of. I was never that way, of course. I am in charge and men know better than to underestimate me. So everyone assumes I am that way outside the office. And it’s true that a bit of that will follow me home many days. I have been told that’s what puts guys off. It did attract one woman, though.
I started thinking about that one previous exploration. This girl behind me at a coffee shop made a comment about my purse and we started talking. We had such a nice time talking we started meeting after work for drinks - at a regular bar - and after a few meetings she revealed she was bisexual, and one evening she suggested we go to her place. I was excited. I had never been with a woman before. The exploration did not go well. She was expecting me to be dominant in bed, but I had no experience in that department. I was always the passive one in the sack. She didn’t do much for me, and I did even less for her, and the whole evening was a disaster. I figured that as hard as heterosexuality was, it was definitely where my head was at. I had never really looked at women in a sexual way, and that experience did nothing to change that. I don’t think I am terribly attractive, and though I am a bit older now, in my early 40s, my body hasn’t gone totally to pieces. I wondered if she felt physical attraction to me, or if she was more interested in what she thought would be a dominant personality. Well, I will never know. I never saw her again.
But this Shannon seemed to be a woman who didn’t need to be pushed. I was even a bit nervous. “Do you come here a lot? It’s my first time here.” I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could without seeming to be an idiot straight girl who had blundered into a lesbian bar by accident. Then it hit me that if I sounded too nonchalant, she might think I came here on purpose!
