So this dude Wotan slept around on his wife and had an illegitimate son, Siegmund, and an illegitimate daughter, Sieglinde by the same woman. They were twins separated at birth but fate brought the two back together. Sieglinde was already married, but she cheated on her husband to sleep with her brother and managed to get pregnant by him. Their father, Wotan, was overjoyed and was going to kill his daughter’s husband so she and her brother could be together, but Wotan’s wife caught wind of this and blew her lid. So, Wotan orders his *other* illegitimate daughter, Brünnhilde, to kill his illegitimate son (technically Brünnhilde’s half-brother) Siegmund. Brünnhilde thinks this is shite and tries to protect her half brother, but Wotan gives his son Siegmund the shaft, I mean spear, through the chest and murders him himself. As punishment for refusing to kill her half-brother, Wotan tells his daughter he’s going to give her a date rape drug and leave her for the first man who finds her, but she says she’d rather die. Wotan relents, saying he loves her, then gives her the date rape drug and tells one of his henchman to watch over her and make sure that only someone who is worthy of her can get to her. What kind of man is worthy of her? Only a man not intimidated by Wotan’s penis. Spear, I mean.
So, years go by, and Wotan’s henchman lets a man through, finally. And wouldn’t you know, it’s Siegmund’s illegitimate son (Wotan’s grandson and Brünnhilde’s nephew) Siegfried. Siegfried and his aunt Brünnhilde hit it off (the henchman did a great job), and for a while it looks like everyone left alive will live happily ever after. But wouldn’t you know it? Someone slips Wotan’s grandson a date rape drug, he forgets about his aunt and sleeps with another woman. And, still under the effects of the drug, he helps the guy who drugged him get with his aunt Brünnhilde. Brünnhilde finds out about all of this and is furious. She helps engineer her nephew’s death, but after he dies, she finds out he was drugged all that time. She throws herself onto her nephew’s funeral pyre, killing herself. Her father, Wotan, takes a torch from the fire and uses it to burn Valhalla to the ground, ending the reign of the gods.
Also, somehow the real villain of the story is capitalism. I honestly don’t understand how or why, but there you go. Der Ring des Nibelungen. The soundtrack is really good, but they really should have hired Paul Verhoeven to direct it.
