I’ve had a pretty traumatic life. Which I believe is one reason I have the fantasies I do.
But I work hard and am completely self sufficient. However, I’ve also acted out a bit sexually as a way to distract me and take me out of my life for a bit. But I also go through periods where I behave completely. My biological dad was a drug addict and alcoholic as well as a diagnosed bipolar. I wonder if l may have some bipolar tendencies when it comes to sex and intimacy as a result. He died over two years ago after a violent drug overdose and years of drug abuse. It caused me to act out pretty bad for quite a while after.
I’m very friendly and I’ve been told I’m too nice. Too much of a people pleaser. But I also keep to myself and most people would never know how I can act out behind closed doors.
In my fantasies, my tormentor would bring out that vulnerability and use it against me. Not only fuck me but mindfuck me. He would punish me as he saw fit for being a tease. He would see me as a tasty treat that he would have to work for and teach to behave.