Glad to see that I am not alone with these fantasies.
Your gender and age?
Female 36
Do you identify yourself most as Straight? Gay/Lesbian? Bisexual?
Aromantic Asexual (FYI: many Asexual people have vivid fantasies and many are sexually active, we just aren’t sexually attracted to people.) I personally do not feel any attraction to real life people and am a virgin, but I definitely get off on the idea of having that choice violently removed.
Do you fantasize being the rapist or the victim?
Always the Victim
Age when you first started having these kinds of fantasies?
Sexually, at puberty. Certain BDSM elements, wayy before
Do you still know what started it?
for as long as I can remember I have had fantasies of being locked in tight spaces or tied to things or crushed under weight. I remember reading a children’s book in kindergarten about a witch who was a bully, so all the woodland animals plotted together. The bear sat on the witch while all the other animals tickled her while she begged them to stop. This struck something in my brain. As I hit puberty, the tickling evolved into Rape and Forced Orgasms.
How often do you fantasize about rape?
Quite often, although I have noticed that frequency depends on time of month.
Do you masturbate while you fantasize?
Usually, if I am somewhere appropriate to that activity
Do you masturbate while you read rape stories or watch rape movies?
Yes, I have a few favorite smut stories and porn scenes
Do rape fantasies help you to get a faster/better orgasm while you are masturbating?
I don’t generally masturbate unless I am fantasizing, so yes
Are your masturbation fantasies always about rape or do you also have vanilla fantasies?
No, I have never had vanilla fantasies
Do you more often fantasize about stranger rape or rape with someone you know?
Always strangers
Do your fantasies more often involve one on one scenes or gangrape?
Usually a group assault, people (almost always men) are holding me down while I struggle. If my fantasy is with a solo rapist, I am usually waking from unconsciousness already chained to the bed.
Do you always fantasize to be involved in the rape (as rapist or victim) or does it sometimes arouse you just to watch?
I am always the main attraction
How important is the enjoyment of the rapist(s) for your fantasy
Absolutely important, they certainly aren’t doing this for MY benefit. In my fantasy, the men raping me are exclusively self seeking. They are not usually especially sadistic and hurting me extra on purpose, but their goal is to get their peak pleasure from my virgin holes, with absolutely no consideration to whether the experience is painful or pleasurable to me.
How important is the suffering of the victim for your fantasy
This is of paramount importance, but also a bit confusing. Orgasms feel good and I imagine myself having multiple forced out of me, but I never become a willing participant in my rape. The suffering must still be there, whether in the form of fear and humiliation, physical pain, or in the betrayal of my body cumming around my rapists dick.
What are the most common settings for your fantasies?
[bedroom, outdoors, forest, a cabin, a dungeon, prison, military camp, etc.]
Home invasion, abduction and imprisonment in someone’s sex dungeon, assault while out camping, any situation that feels like I might actually get myself into.
What’s your favorite type of rapist (blacks, gangster, convicts, soldier, biker, pirate, KKK men, etc.) or victim (virgin, schoolgirl, housewife, middle aged woman, MILF, business woman, nun, female POW, etc.)?
The victim is always myself, maybe fantasized to be thinner and more attractive than I actually am. The type of rapist is not usually relevant to my fantasy other than that they are rough, large, and intimidating enough for me to fight against and lose. I don’t actually fantasize what the rapists look like.
Are your fantasy scenes typically more “soft” (the victim being forced against her will/overpowered/unable to resist without overt violence) or more brutal (include the victim being hit/slapped/punched by the rapist)?
Brutal. I am fighting for my life for the entire encounter, or at least until I am immobilized by my attacker and chained/held into a position where resistance is futile. Even if I start my fantasy waking up immobilized, I usually still imagine the concussion from the blitz attack that must have got me here.
What’s the center of your fantasy, the sex or the humiliation and degradation?
** To me, these are just about one in the same.**
Is it important that your fantasy scene has a convincing overpowering sequence including some struggling, slapping, screaming etc?
Vitally important.
Do your fantasy scenes typically include convincing resistance (kicking, biting etc.) by the victim?
Absolutely. I am not a sexual or romantic person even within my own fantasy, so if someone is going to force me to pleasure them against my will, it will be a hard won prize. I will NOT just lay there and take it!
Is it important that your fantasy victim is screaming, pleading, begging etc?
This is MOST vital. After I exhaust my physical capacity to refuse, the begging and pleading for them to let me go, please don’t hurt me, I don’t want this please stop, all the while they either ignore my pleading or mock me (or gag me to shut me up). This is where my arousal is centered. The idea that all control is stripped from me, that this IS going to happen no matter how much I want it not to. That is an intoxicating feeling.
Is it important that your fantasy rapist(s) is/are degrading the victim with words (calling her a slut, whore etc.) Mocking my plea for them to stop and my cries for help that no one is around to hear is very arousing. Especially arousing is a scenario where I think I may be saved, like a cop arriving, only to discover that they are with the other rapists and here to assault me as well. I am neutral on being called a slut or whore, but I don’t like the trope where I am coerced to call myself a slut or ask for cock/an orgasm. My Rapists are TAKING what they want out of me, there is no need to obtain permission.
Do your scenes typically include a man’s cum and if yes, where does it usually end up?
Yes. Since my fantasy is usually a gang rape or a prolonged abduction where I am a Kidnappers sex doll for an indefinite period of time, I’d say the cum gets everywhere eventually.
Do your scenes include anal rape?
Anal sex is not something I am aroused by or curious for in real life or fantasy, but in my fantasy explicitly is about my removal of power or choice in the scenario, and so, yes, anal rape is usually at least a threat, and is usually something I am most frightened about.
Do your scenes include oral rape?
On a similar note, the idea of having a cock forced in my mouth is not arousing or pleasurable, even in fantasy, but in a gang rape scenario what do my feelings have to do with it? In this case, however, I do imagine how the scenario would play if a guy tried it. I feel that even with a knife at my throat, I would still be more likely to bite than blow. So my scenes usually involve a ring gag and a lot of choking, as even the option of defending myself with my teeth or controlling the speed and depth is removed from me.
Do your scenes include vaginal rape?
Always
Do your scenes typically include the victim having an orgasm?
Yes, multiple - even though I don’t want them
How important is the size of the rapist(s) cock(s) cock in your fantasies?
I have never had penetrative sex IRL, even alone with toys, so size is not really relevant. Even a smaller than average dick would probably be painful in a virgin rape scenario.
How long does a typically rape fantasy (masturbating) session usually last?
It varies a lot. Sometimes only 5 minutes, but when hormones are activated I can go for over an hour
How do you feel after such a “session?”
Relaxed and sleepy, usually fall asleep right afterwards.
Do you sometimes feel some kind of guilt for your fantasies?
I used to. It felt weird and wrong. But I have come to the conclusion that so long as I look for porn/smut in ethical places, I am not doing any harm to anybody.
Does someone in your real life know about your fantasy?
My mom and I have talked about this, but no one who I would ever feel would take advantage of knowing this deep secret. I don’t plan on ever taking this fantasy out of a solo experience, so I will likely never tell anyone I know in real life.
Do you know of someone in your real life having such fantasies?
Turns out, these type of power play fantasies run in my family, at least my mom and grandmother have/had some version of this.
Have you ever enacted a rape roleplay in real life?
No, and I never want to.
How is your rapist or victim typically dressed?
I dress the same way I always do, (mostly a jeans and t shirt kind of gal.) I don’t actually visualize my Rapists to the point of seeing what they are wearing. They are generally imagined as anonymous shadow figures. Sometimes I will imagine them slowly taking off their belt and unzipping their jeans, so I guess they wear jeans?
Do other kinks or fetishes (such as BDSM, foot fetishes, furries etc.) make their way into your rape fantasies? If so, what are they?
BDSM is a big one. Beyond that, whatever tropes work well with Gang Rapes or long term imprisonment as a sex toy get incorporated into my daydreaming.
Are there other key elements to your fantasies that I have missed with the questions above? If so, please describe them briefly.
Just to make this 100% clear, these fantasies are something that is pleasurable to me only within the confines of my brain and bedroom. I don’t think Rape in real life is ever anything other than a crime and travesty that ruins people’s lives. CNC scenarios with consenting partners is a wonderful outlet for some people, but not something I would ever be interested in (the act of setting up safe words and establishing consent in advance defeats the entire premise of the fantasy for me unfortunately.) I share this here because it is helpful to me to see others who have similar fantasies to mine (or the aggressive opposite) and remind me that this is a normal element to sexuality. It seems fair that if you showed your cards, I should do the same.